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first of all, merry christmas!!!! if you don't celebrate christmas, i hope you're having a great day regardless.

i just wanted to give an update and talk a little. my festivities are mostly over now, so i don't have too much to do... or the energy to do much more. i am hungover and sleep deprived... ^^;

last night we had our christmas dinner and opened presents from my girlfrriend's mom's side of the family while on zoom with said family memebers. it was... a lot more anxiety inducing than i expected. i must of forgotten that i get super freaked out by excessive attention on me. especially with recieving gifts... for one, i often find it hard to feel like im worthy of such things. i am super appreciative of all i've recived last night and this morning! its just hard to feel like i deserve it lol. i also have a hard time expressing my appreciation on my face. sometimes its hard for me to emote in these situations, but that doesn't mean im not happy! im always afraid that someone may think i don't like the gifts. my tone also falls flat too...

after that zoom call, me, my girlfriend, her mom and her dad all just hung out for a while, talking. her dad broke out tequila. now, last night was my first time drinking tequila, and holy shit. that stuff was so good. this particular one tasted pretty minty! i... had a bit more than i should of, probably. oopsie. like i said, i'm hungover...

eventually we all went to bed, and then woke up to open our presents this morning. i'm more than happy with what i recieved, and i hope they know that... it was the same situation as the zoom call from last night, having a hard time emoting and my tone falling flat. i did my best to explain to them that i enjoyed everything, and i think they understand.

that all aside, i wanna give an update on my antidepressants.

so, it's been a week since i've started them. i've noticed that my desire to draw is slowly returning, so that's cool! but... i seem to be having a hard time feeling some emotions. that could be from anxiety though, i don't know for sure. i also get a little sleepy on them... and always around 2 pm, i need a nap. how odd. and so far, no weird interactions with my antipsychotics. also neat. it's only been a week, so more time is needed to see if they will truly work out.

i don't really have much else to say right now... i hope you're having a peaceful and good day today. stay safe out there, and happy holidays!

here is this cool little thing i found earlier today.